A Prayer for a Legacy of Godly Manhood

In my office are two bookshelves of mementos of my grandfathers. Aside from my father, in many ways, these men contributed greatly to shaping me into who I am, today. Both godly husbands, faithful fathers, and honorable soldiers in the Lord’s army. A great blessing was to grow up in the church where they served together as elders. But in many ways, these two men were very different (the shelves representing that) – on one, a number of old tools; on the other, a number of old Bibles.

Pawpaw, the preacher, was a well-educated man of the Word. He was quieter and more reserved – but extremely intelligent. He wasn’t unfriendly, but his humor was dry – often witty – so sometimes hard to read. He spent hours in his office, writing, dissecting Scripture, and studying apologetics to defend the faith. I am blessed to have many of his writings, notes, and Bibles to look back on and learn from. Pawpaw’s life reminds me that being a man of God is one of depth, study, and a commitment to truth (Prov. 4:7, 2 Tim. 2:15).

Grandad, the insurance salesman, thrived out in the world, connecting with people wherever he went. Far from an icky salesman, he was genuine. In his much smaller office was a sign that read, “I went out to find a friend, but could not find one there. I went out to be a friend, and friends were everywhere.” His integrity was unmatched and his smile contagious. As a craftsman his hands were always ready to build, fix, or help. Academically, he was inferior to Pawpaw – his grammar and spelling often very poor. But what he didn’t leave by way of writings, he left the world through his service, leadership, and love in action (Mic. 6:8).

Sometimes, looking at these two men, I feel caught in the middle. I am far from the scholar that Pawpaw was, and I’m not the extrovert that Grandad was. And I wrestle: what kind of man does God want me to be? And I especially struggle in asking, what kind of man am I helping my son to become?

Lately, I’ve thought about how sometimes we characterize people – “he’s a good kid” or, “he’s a good guy.” But men of God are called to be more than just, “a good guy” and I want my son to be more than just “a good kid.” The world measures by minimum standards: he doesn’t break the law, he’s not a bully, he’s not a dropout. But God calls men to be more than that. A godly man submits – He respects authority, both earthly and divine (Rom. 13:1-2). A godly man serves others – he puts others ahead of himself, as Christ did (Mk. 10:43-45). A godly man surrenders – he honors God in all things; whatever his hand finds to do, he does it with all his might and for God’s glory (Col. 3:23-24; 1 Cor. 10:31).

I recently came across a framework of biblical manhood that I have grown to appreciate: men of God are protectors, providers, leaders, and lovers. 1 Being a man of God means doing hard things. A man of God doesn’t shy away from hard conversations – he stands for the truth and leads his family and others to it, even when it’s unpopular (Eph. 4:15). A man of God stands up for the innocent and helpless – protecting those who cannot protect themselves (Prov. 31:8-9). A man of God works hard to provide for his family, knowing that diligence honors God (1 Tim. 5:8). A man of God loves others, even when it’s hard – sacrificially, patiently, and without expectation of return (Jn. 15:12-13, 1 Cor. 13:4-7).

In many ways, this framework encapsulates Grandad and Pawpaw. Each of them exemplified all these characteristics – albeit each had their strengths. As a father, my greatest prayer is that I can help my son inherit a legacy of godly manhood. A man who is a protector, provider, leader, and lover; a man willing to do the hard things that true manhood requires. That in difficult circumstances, he will stand for the truth. That in the face of injustice, he will defend the weak. That in the mundane of life, he will work with diligence and integrity. That in all his relationships he will love sacrificially and faithfully. And that I will do the same. May we be men after God’s own heart (1 Sam. 13:14). For God is the ultimate example of one who is a protector, provider, leader, and lover!